Saturday, March 2, 2019

MARKS OF A TRUE FRIEND


Subhashitham : 025
सर्वदा सुकरं मित्रं दुष्करं परिपालनम्  I
अनित्यत्वात् तु चित्तानां प्रीति: अल्पे अपि भिध्यते 
Sarvada sukaram mithram , dushkaram paripaalanam I
Anithyatvaath tu chithanaam preeti: alpe api bhidhyate II      Valmiki Ramayana
It is easy to initiate friendship. But, very difficult to sustain and develop it. Because of the unsteady nature of the human mind , worthy  friendships are broken due to flimsy reasons.
Here are a few very popular subhashithas on friendship :
ददाति प्रतिगृण्हाति गुह्यमाख्याति पृच्छति
भुङ्क्ते भोजयते चैव षड्विधं प्रीतिलक्षणम्    ).   – Panchatantra, Mitrasamprapti
Dadhati, pratigruhanaati, guhyamaakyaati, pruchati I
Bhunkte, bhojayate chaiva shadvidham preeti lakshanam II
The following six are the tell-tale signs of a mature friendship  – sharing (giving and taking), telling and keeping secrets, sharing food (feeding and being fed ).
We have from Bhartruhari’s Niti satakam:
पापान्निवारयति योजयते हिताय       गुह्यं गूहति गुणान्प्रकटीकरोति
आपद्गतं जहाति ददति काले     सन्मित्रलक्षणमिदं प्रवदन्ति सन्तः
paapaannivaarayati yojayate hitaaya        guhyam ca guuhati gunaanprakatiikaroti |
aapadgatam ca na jahaati dadati kale        sanmitralakshanamidam pravadanti santah ||
Wise men  say that the mark of a true friend is preventing one from committing sinful actions, putting one on the path that will lead to good only, keeping one’s secrets, bringing out the innate qualities in one, not forsaking when one is in trouble and giving one whatever is required at the appropriate time.
 दर्शने स्पर्शणे वापि श्रवणे भाषणेऽपि वा     यत्र द्रवत्यन्तरङ्गं स्नेह इति कथ्यते
It is called friendship, when seeing some one, or touching them, or hearing them, or talking to them, touches your heart. Other wise it is just an acquintance...
विवादो धनसम्बन्धो याचनं चातिभाषणम्।      आदानमग्रतः स्थानं मैत्रीभङ्गस्य हेतवः
Vivaado dana sambandho , yaachanam chaati bhashanam I Aadhanam agrata: sthanam  maître bhangasya hetava:                                                                  
Argument, monetary transaction, asking (for something), excessive talk, borrowing, hankering after position- these break friendship.

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